Do you have a special quiet space to go to when you need time to think? Is it a space in your house, a place to walk, or a state of mind? This is mine. I worked and fought for it these past few years, in a way. Not really “fought”, but I have had to use passive resistance to giving it up entirely.
I am a wife and mother of three teenagers (14, 16, and 18). For years, this space was their nursery. When we toured the house, I saw this room and immediately had plans to make it a crafting room and/or nursery. The vision came true, but it was never fully mine or a sanctuary until recently.
If you have young children, you know that unless they are sleeping, they follow you everywhere and no space is truly yours. I’d like to say I didn’t mind that, but I think I did from time to time. During those early years, I survived and thrived in motherhood. It was everything I ever dreamed of, but also so much harder than I ever imagined. As an introvert, I don’t think I understood what it would mean to give up all personal space for a time. Because we had our children two years apart, that meant six to ten years with really little people who needed me constantly. They were little dreams come true, such sweet and loving children, and I marveled at their creativity and joy every day!
Fast forward ten years and I find myself with more time and this space to myself. My sweet little co-makers have room sanctuaries of their own with most supplies they need, and a desire to quietly evolve in their own spaces. I have a full time job, but several years during and after Covid I used this space as an office and teaching space. I do plan and work here, but the space with my gorgeous yellow chair is my sanctuary. Just having the space didn’t make that so. It has undergone a makeover with less clutter and more intention.
After my 50th birthday last year, I finally traded the nursery rocking chair for my yellow chair (something I could sit cross legged in and do sewing/knitting). When growing up (I was raised in the 70s and 80s), my parents had a mustard yellow, velvet arm chair that I loved. I decided I wanted something similar for my birthday and this space. But, when I placed the chair, I saw the space with new eyes. I had lots of clutter around it, and I didn’t realize how much this was affecting me, until it wasn’t. One day, I decided to remove everything and start again by placing items out next to me that would be most useful, but only the most essential or appealing.
It was this “white space” seen in the photo above that gave me pause. I remember the very moment I took the final recycling load out of the room and returned to the space. I just stood there, staring at that open blank space. In years past, I would have wondered what I should place there – that was a lot of space, after all, and it would seem wasteful to just leave it empty. But the open space spoke to me in a way. It said, “its okay, you don’t have to make something today, just be present.” It said, “sometimes taking up space and showing value to yourself is an empty space.” It was an open invitation. No WIP (work in progress). No supplies or bits and pieces calling me to do something with them. No book to read, sketchbook, notepad, etc.
When I am done working on something, I now have drawer space next to the chair to place it in until I am ready to continue. A drawer for sewing (well two, one on either side), crochet, and watercolor. Is it always open space? No, but about 90% of the time it is and I call that great progress!
To keep the top of the furniture as uncluttered as possible with items I’d like to have close at hand, I installed hooks and intentionally selected items to place in the pocket of my armchair pincushion (pattern and design by Alabama Chanin, work by me). Everytime I place items back or put materials away for another day, I feel a little tender spark of joy inside. It is okay to rest now, you have everything you need and they will be waiting for you when you need them.
What little spaces can you create that encourage self-care, self-love, or just spark joy because they are yours? Spaces and places where you can be you. Where you always have the choice to do or just be present.
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